we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
