That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
