no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
