I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
