I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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