Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
