It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
pop tarts are not kleenex
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
