one two three fourrrrnication!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she peed on how many people?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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