We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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