Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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