thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"it" just moved
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
