I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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