the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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