haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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