It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
