Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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