how can u be prego again
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
