Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
