I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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