wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
