i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
