yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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