I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
