Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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