YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
