I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
