Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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