do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
