i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
