You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
