Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
