dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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