I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
