she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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