we have officially lost it.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
