it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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