yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
