the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
