There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
