just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
