I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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