Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
lol hangovers are for mortals.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
