everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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