hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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