just tell him i said nine months
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
