You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
