New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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