we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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