shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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