He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
