I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
